Tuesday, February 1, 2005

thievery

I've had a feeling that one my neighbors has been using our apartment gym for free cable. It doesn't matter what time of the day I go, she and her daughter are there. She's always on the machines, but she never looks sweaty.

Today, my suspicion was confirmed. This afternoon I saw her walk in the gym wearing dress clothes and a pack of newspaper clippings to cut coupons.

I felt strangely vindicated, just by staring at her.

Book her, Danno.

6 comments:

Amanda Lomonaco said...

And what are you doing at the apartment gym? Surely not working out?!

Patricia said...

You should get there before she does and have the TV on a different channel than she usually watches. Then wait to see what she does!

Anonymous said...

Or, when she sits down all comfortable with her lap full of coupons, change the channel to a religious one and turn it up loud. Then you can spread the word of God and tick her off at the same time!

This will probably be especially effective if you can find an annoying, fluffy haired televeision evangelist with a southern drawl. Then, for extra effect you can proclaim the occasional AMEN or HALLELUIAH while you jog on the treadmill.
-MikeL

Matt said...

Mike brings up an interesting thesis possibility for you Karin: Evangelism by Annoyance. It's kind of like a war of attrition - you pester them until they have no other choice but to submit to the will of God.

Think of the possibilities. You could do an entire chapter on how Christian radio is on the cutting edge of this strategy.

I think you'd graduate with honors!

Anonymous said...

Theivery? Don't over exaggerate. You pay for the cable in the gym with your rent. This person is getting their money's worth from their rent.

Brian

mikeT said...

Karin, sweatcrime is not a crime. For those of you not familiar with the statute, it states "being in the vicinity of workout equipment without the requisite perspiration... blah blah". It's really more of an elitist guideline than an actual ordinance.

Abandoned to her sense freedom, this woman comes to the gym dressed up(probably for work), with her child(probably parenting), and she's clipping coupon's! I see Liberty Leading the People here.

Hmm, a well dressed, frugile mom. This womans no thief.
She's an American.
A darned good one.