Sunday, September 23, 2007

The Rules

It has been brought to my attention by a small number of dear people in my life--namely Andrea, Nikki, John, Kristin, Jim, Lindsey, etc.--that I have a particular set of rules to which I hold people. Moreover, I do not actually tell the rules; I merely hold people responsible for breaking the rules.

So, in the interest of full disclosure, I will reveal these Rules which, I still maintain, are self-evident. (this, of course, is not an exhaustive list and is subject to revision at any time).
  1. Grocery shopping, household shopping, and clothes shopping are, at best, three separate trips and at worst three unique receipts from the same checkout line. The world is going to Hell in a handbasket with these supercenters. At no time is it acceptable for bras to be purchased alongside a gallon of milk.
  2. Don't buy toothpaste at Publix. Or any other health & beauty aid. It's a place for food. Leave it at that.
  3. Popcorn always accompanies Coke (but not necessarily vice-versa).
  4. I can't tell you what drink I will want at Starbucks unless I know (a) what book I will be reading (b) how long I will be there or (c) what our conversation will be about. Ordering said drink rarely happens before the 25 minute mark. So don't push me.
  5. I don't reverse out of driveways.
  6. I'm more interested in the event of watching a movie than the actual movie. This is why once the decision is made, I fall asleep.
  7. Drinks without straws are useless to me. As are large glasses. Also, I have a strong dislike of large mugs. Mug sizes should be standardized.
  8. I can be bought with sweet tea. I know this and I am okay with it.
  9. I only use half & half from a paper milk carton.
  10. There are only two classifications of movies: (1) Scary or (2) Flicka, Anne of Green Gables, Little House on the Prairie, Gilmore Girls, and just recently The Parent Trap

15 comments:

- john said...

Ahem. These are the rules you came up with?? What about..'I will not attend any functions where the invitation came from facebook or email. No it doesn't matter if you're a 'dear' friend or it's your birthday.'

Brian said...

Half and Half comes in something other than a paper milk carton?

krustydog said...

You don't reverse out of drieways because you are the daughter of a firefighter. Niether does my husband because he is the son of a Police man. I totally get that and some of the others. I dont think I have eve bought a bra and a gallon of milk at the same time. Now if i was desperate and to save the environment a little headache i might, but I would rather not! :)

michael said...

I am the son of a police man too, and I not only reverse out of driveways, but sometimes down the whole street. For instance, if I am a block away or less from my house and realize I forgot something, then who needs to turn around? Just put it in reverse and go down the right side of the street for the direction you are traveling.

I'll have to try that while towing (or pushing if it's in reverse) a trailer someday. Now that would be something. The only problem is that because reverse is such a low gear your car revs pretty high and it can get a little noisy.

Still not sure what police and firefighters have to do with it though. Is it because they have seen so many accidents happen from backing up? "Sure those head on collisions can be nasty, but you should see the blood and guts that result from backing up into residential neighborhood traffic!"

JIll said...

Oh...I so disagree with #1! I am all about efficiency and I love the fact that I can go to Target and look at and even buy everything I would ever need for myself or home.
Curious...where do you buy your toothpaste then? You say not Publix, and I gather not Target (unless you buy it without buying anything else there).
And as for the driveway thing...how do you get in your driveway? If you only go forward out of it, then you must go backwards into it.
:-)

Andrea said...

Karin, karin, you have so much to learn about yourself. This is what you came up with? I am aware of so many more rules, but I love you anyways.

krustydog said...

It is a safety thing, you get out of the drive way faster if you are backed into it and then you just pull out of it, plus if your battery dies then it is easier to jump the battery. Most every firefighter I know and every police officer I know back in.

- john said...

I heard another one of Karin's rules.

She DOES NOT shop at SuperCenters.

She loves to shop at Sam's Club.

(can someone please tell her that Sam's Club is a super center.)

Nicole said...

It seems to me that each time you post something to be true about yourself, it changes (i.e. plugging in appliances). Perhaps you will now not only watch "Walk the Line" while realizing that a dark cover doesn't mean a scary movie and even possibly stay awake throughout the entire thing.

Nicole said...

Number 1 is a falacy for you have, on several occasions, bought food at Target and I'm pretty sure there were bra's just 2 isles over.

Nicole said...

There appear to be two more fallacies on your list.
#5 is not true because I have been in a car with you on several occasions in which you backed out of the driveway -- unless you would like to revise your statement to a number of feet.
#7 is a fallacy because you only drink "straw drinks" with a straw. If you are not told it needs a straw or if you do not deem is "straw worthy" then it does not need a straw.

Also, I'm pretty sure I don't know how to spell fallacy or aisle. My apologies.

Amanda Lomonaco said...

So as I don't have Publix out here I recently started shopping at Super Walmart. It is so much cheaper than a normal grocery store. I'm talking half the price. Nuts. Anyway, the other day while I was there, I noticed that the people around me were breaking your rules. Both the person in front of me and the one behind me were buying bras with their groceries.

I did buy some cowboy boots for Lucas with my groceries today. Is that against the "rules."

karin said...

They sell cowboy boots in California? That's what I'm more concerned about.

Amanda Lomonaco said...

Of course they sell cowboy boot in California. Some of the big name cowboys are from out here. You ever hear of John Wayne? Didn't Clint Eastwood play a cowboy, too. And then there was our presidential cowboy who had a ranch out here in Cali.

karin said...

John Wayne?! I thought he was from Texas. Isn't there a Fort named after him or something?

Cowboy boots and no Publix. This is why the East Coast is better.