Quit the Quitting

I ran the IOA Corporate 5k tonight along with 13,000 other people committed to health, wellness, and matching company t-shirts. And this addition of chewy granola bars at the finish line is a real morale booster for me, I have to say. 

But now I plead to you, dear readers, for advice. I've written before that running is a mental game. So much so that I have read several books on the matter, faithfully borrow Runner's World each month from the library, and even have a running board on Pinterest. Yet all of these quotes and techniques and statistics didn't help me one bit when my shoes hit the pavement and I wanted to quit. Because I did quit. Apparently, my motto is if you're not walkin', then you're not running. 

I always have one goal in mind when I go out for a run: to run again. This is great for the long view, but not so helpful if you, say, want to win. 

Tonight's goal was simple: finish in under 30. In all fairness, this was a poor goal. I achieved that goal roughly the same time I started measuring & timing myself. So what did I do? You guessed it! Quit! I was able to quit running so many times and still was able to shave about 2 minutes off the goal time. So I finished with these conflicting emotions of feeling like a winner but with the tormented soul that only comes from knowing you didn't give your best. And that, my friends, is why Track Shack gives you free beer at the end of the race. A bubbly balm in Gilead. 

So do you have advice? Tips? How do you trick your mind into pushing yourself when you know you don't have to? 

Many the miles

Running is one of those sports that doesn't make a lot of sense, which is why God made these warm fuzzy neurotransmitters called endorphins and put them in our brain to convince us that when we are running, say 13.1 miles, we are at the same time, having a very, very good time doing it.

This morning I ran the OUC Half Marathon, lived to tell about it, and actually enjoyed it. And let me tell you, this was not on my 2011 bucket list. (I actually don't have anything on my bucket list. I don't even own a bucket. But if I did have a list or a bucket, this would not be on it. Or in it.)

I thought about live-blogging the event, but let's be real--I was not about to get my iPad sweaty. So consider this a time-lapsed live blog of the 2011 Orlando Half.

Before

• Wake up at 3 AM to a dream where I am ordering a bacon cheeseburger. Go back to sleep.
• Wake up at 5:15 AM 
• Eat 2 blueberry waffles slathered with butter (breakfast of champions), half a banana, and drink water
• Arrive downtown at 5:53 AM
• Get distracted by all the people, and the cones, and the flashing lights, and the dark, and the stupid one-way streets, and drive around, narrowly missing the LYNX bus only lane (when did Orlando get public transportation?)
• Look at clock. 6:18 AM. Late for meeting friends at 6:15 AM. No idea where to park because the secret parking lot I was planning on is officially too secret, even for me.
• Look at clock. 6:24 AM. Decide to buckle down and pay $5 to park. Turn around on tiny street to get to parking lot. Reach for wallet.
• Discover I did not bring my wallet.
• Contemplate begging the parking lot man for mercy but notice that the parking lot has one of those bars that go up and down. If he does not grant mercy, I'm stuck without a way to turn around. 
• Seriously contemplate going back home to bed.
• Pray
• No joke, find a relatively empty random parking lot right in front of me. 
• Look for tow away signs. None. Yay! Pray a prayer that my car will not be towed.
• 6:36 AM race to Panera to meet my friends 
• Stand in the restroom line for the length of what must have been seven entirely overplayed Adele Rolling in the Deep songs
• Head to the starting line with 5 minutes to spare

During

• Celebrate the 4 Japanese runners who joined the race traveling all the way from, you guessed it, Japan
• Put my hand over my heart while the National Anthem plays. Look everywhere for a flag. Never found one.
• GO!
• Around mile 5, give the two girls drinking mimosas while watching us an angry stare. I. Love. Mimosas. Thought about throwing in the towel right then and joining them. But I had no towel.
• I kept a good pace (mostly because he was so entertaining) behind a tall, built, very attractive guy who periodically kept fist-pumping in the air and would dance to his music while he ran. I called him the fist-pumper (not that creative when I run).
• Around mile 8 I pulled out my poor-girl's race food (a pack of gummies), only to realize a failure in my plan. I stuffed them in my shirt, so the package was completely wet (sweat!) and my hands were sweaty, so I couldn't eat them. Sad.
• My favorite sign a fan held was "Bike Rental Ahead" 
• If you think Orlando is ugly or that Orlando only consists of Waterford Lakes or houses that all look the same, you need to do this race. This is the real Orlando. My Orlando. Orlando is absolutely beautiful. Lakes, brick streets, big trees, houses with character and story to them. Simply divine.
• I would say a low point was when Justin Bieber kicked in on my iPod, but I'd be lying. I love that kid.

After

• The outpouring of encouragement from total strangers at the race and then from friends and family is incredible!
• I love that for today, I was an athlete. A legitimate athlete. 

Running really is hard work. Yes, it'll kill your knees eventually. But it's a mental workout too. Possibly even more than a physical workout. Possibly. There were many times when the phrase "just keep running" was what I needed to take the next step. It's oh so easy to give in. But when you stick with it, few feelings compare to that of hard-earned accomplishment. 

Move over Jenny Craig

My health insurance will pay me $5 for every pound I lose between August 1 and December 31. Ever the savvy financier, I have decided to lose 4o pounds which will provide an easy $200 bucks. An excellent down payment on a new iPhone.

Of course, this will also put me roughly 40 lbs below the healthy body weight and will mean I can no longer give blood. Buh-bye, free Darden restaurant gift cards and cheap plastic pens. A small price to pay for a shiny 3G always connected toy.

The new diet plan and health regimen is in full swing. After one week, here is what I discovered:

1. Buying a Costco membership the same week you start a diet plan counteracts all the effort
2. Eating 5 avocados in one week also counteracts dietary efforts
3. Don't buy lettuce, mangos, or avocados in bulk for one person. Scratch that--don't buy in bulk for one person.
4. I ate healthier food this week than any other week in my entire life, and I gained weight.
   

As if that wasn't enough, I checked my blood pressure today at CVS Pharmacy. 88/48 with a resting heart rate of 56. Excuse me while I go pass out.

palpitations

After running in the gym the other day, I checked my heart rate. 191. ONE-NINETY-ONE people. That's 20 points higher than the chart actually goes and a mere 3 points away from my Maximum Heart Rate.

i'm speechless.

tomorrow's agenda: prepare living will.