a poetic farewell

'Twas the week after Casey, when all through the home
Not a tv was on, nor a text from a phone
The twitter feed silenced as did the blogsphere,
Still mourning the verdict of which we all feared.

The 17th is coming, and soon her release
Will she shop at my Target? Still lie to police?
So many questions, so much unknown.
How long ‘till the Lifetime movie will be shown?

I’ve followed the case, you might call me obsessed
Try “passionate,” I say; resigned, “Fine. I confess.”
And now this series of Casey blogs is now over
But despite the poor content, I’m writing this sober.

So what shall the next grand blog series be?
Twilight reviews, ‘sodes I, II and III?
You be the jury. The ball’s in your court.
Just leave me a comment (to begging I resort).

And now with the plea, I’ve hit a new low.
Off to drown my sorrows with a glass of Bordeaux.

The Daily Casey: the unbelievable edition

The verdict is in. Not Guilty.

Do we have justice for Caylee? Nope.
Do we have justice for Casey? No way.
Do we have justice for Karin? You betcha.

Fifteen days ago I announced right here my prediction and, oh, the outrage! Well, look who is flying high now? Jose Baez, that's who.

Let's take a step back and see what we can learn from this judicial fiasco.

Life Lessons from Casey #1
Sometimes, really good things happen to bad people.

Life Lessons from Casey #2
It doesn't matter how bad of an attorney you are, it only matters how the lucky quarter landed when the jury took their vote

Life Lessons from Casey #3
Conversely, it doesn't matter how great of an attorney you are if your jury is made up of Floridians

Life Lessons from Casey #4
When a child is dead and a family has been torn apart, there are no winners. Period.

Life Lessons from Casey #5
If you are ever going to murder someone, be sure to do it in Pinellas County.

The Daily Casey: the through the rabbit hole edition

For those of you living under a rock or in Kentucky, the trial of Casey Anthony is in the homestretch. The State has rested. The Defense has rested. And the entire day has been spent in closing arguments and nearly holding attorneys on both sides in contempt of court. Just another day in the ninth circuit court.

A few observations:

• Matthew Bartlett, the 28 year old who is currently serving time in the Orange County Jail for giving an attorney the finger, should really make his doppelganger Ben Stiller. Anybody with me on this? Anyone? 
• Speaking of Bartlett, I actually thought he was attractive until I learned he had $12 in his checking account.
• And did anyone else have a craving for TGI Fridays all weekend long?

Back to the matter at hand. Closing arguments. In order to believe the Defense, you really have to suspend all common sense. Listening to these guys is like watching a circus. It's hilarious. Unfortunately, Florida (of which I am a native) is not known for attracting the best and the brightest. And this is why a judgment of not guilty after the incredible case the State has laid out, would be the icing on this hoop-dee-doo revue.

Okay, Cheney Mason is up. Now you get to experience a little live-blogging fun.

• Why is he reading us a story? His voice sounds like the Colonel. I suddenly have a craving for some crispy fried chicken.
• On the eve of our Independence Day, do not forget that a cornerstone of our judicial government is that the defendant does not have to do anything to prove her innocence. The entire burden of proof rests with the State to demonstrate guilt. If you have any doubt whatsoever, you are required to vote not guilty. (Thanks, Attorney Mason! You're helping my case). 

I can't take it anymore. This guy is killing me. 

What's your prediction? It's Florida! You can vote as many times as you want!

The Daily Casey: the I'm making a prediction edition

I love Florida. I love that we get more air time than an Iowa caucus for a presidential election. I love that lightning strikes here more than in any other state. And I especially love that the legendary actor, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, filmed a classic drama Walking Across Egypt in my hometown of Windermere.

In the State vs Casey Anthony, I am pleased to rest solidly on the side of the State. I've watched my fair share of courtroom dramas ("You can't handle the truth!"), and although I've never been to law school or set foot inside a court, the prosecution is one fiercely capable team. They have convinced me, beyond a reasonable doubt, of three things:

1. Caylee Anthony is dead
2. Caylee Anthony's death was caused by Casey Anthony
3. Casey Anthony decided in advance to kill her daughter Caylee

But thankfully, the judicial branch of our government does not rest on a jury of one. And truth be told, if I were sitting in that juror seat, "beyond a reasonable doubt" would take on a whole new meaning for me. My vote would seal her fate. I would want to be as confident in my decision on Casey as I am that wearing a tweety bird swimsuit to Wet 'n Wild in 9th grade was a monumental mistake. Monumental.

In any case, it's not up to me. It's up to a unanimous decision from a jury of twelve. And with that, ready for my prediction?

A-C-Q-U-I-T-T-A-L

I think justice would be manslaughter (a lesser version of murder, which is what the state is going for) but I think reality will be an acquittal. What can I say? I'm a student of history.

And being a student of history, I would be remiss if I did not mention the greatest injustice ever. An innocent man put to death and I, the guilty one, set free. Over 2,000 years ago, Jesus Christ--out of his deep, deep love for you and for me--chose to take on the punishment from God that we deserve so that we could be part of his family. In a word, he showed us mercy. Incredible mercy.

If you have never felt the love of God before or if you don't know if you are in his family, please talk to me! Seriously. You have an open door, any time.

And now I leave you with one of my absolute favorite songs. I don't know the guy, so excuse his very large sideburns. He could be British.

The Daily Casey: the poor excuse for an edition, edition

Trial Days 21-26
Well folks, I missed a full week of the trial, so this will be a catch-all edition. And instead of watching 40+ hours of raw video, I turn to Anderson Cooper who makes this experience much, much more pleasing. If I studied Greek mythology, Anderson Cooper and Matt Lauer would be journalistic demigods. But I do not believe in demigods. There is only one God. Read Deuteronomy 6:4, the Shema. And there's your Hebrew lesson for today.

Back to the matter at hand.

One song has been running through my head all week.
I've been looking so long at these pictures of you....
You were stone white, so delicate


The only difference is I say stone cold and never make it to delicate. Is it me or has Casey's demeanor completely changed in a week? She's emotionless and stone cold. She is finally starting to see how it's all unraveling before her eyes. To be honest, the trial is really hard for me to watch now. She's a pathological liar, her family life is shattered and a child is dead. The only comic relief is her defense. (Honestly, it gives me a little hope. If Jose Baez passed the bar exam, maybe I could too).

So, I'll watch some clips over the weekend. If I'm hit with moments of inspiration, I'll post again. (And there is the fact that Bones the cadaver dog is just begging to make an appearance here. Begging. Get it?).

Indian food and dancin' the blues

Not going to lie. There was a little (big) part of me that thought all my casey anthony blogs would get swept up by the Orlando Sentinel or at the very least News 13. Then maybe, just maybe, Tina Fey would be visiting town, watch the local news, see my blog, and say "hey, she's funny. And we look alike." And then I could join the writing staff at 30 Rock.

So far, it hasn't happened.

I'm 3 days behind on the trial which exposes my inability to commit to television without a strong male lead. If only Jose Baez was Ryan Reynolds.

Since I wasn't Casey Anthony-ing, here's a little weekend summation:

• Dinner at an Indian restaurant that was previously a Krystal. The inside still looked like a Krystal, except there was dark, heavy fabric and a picture of the Taj Mahal.

• Swing dancing and then blues dancing. Blues is like the nirvana of all dances. I don't even know what that means, that's how other-worldly it is. If Jesus was like Santa (which He isn't), I would ask Him to bring me a man that blues dances. 

• Bought lots of fresh fruit from Freshfield Farms and I think I want to make this a summer regularity. If you haven't been there, you should go because it looks like a barn. And every city girl needs a little farm oasis in the middle of downtown. Technically, SODO (South of Downtown). We're so hip. (Can I even be called a city girl if I'm from Orlando?)

• Spent two hours reading by the pool and eavesdropping on all the conversations. I was lathered up with SPF 45 so I felt particularly armed in my crusade against skin cancer.

• Great quality time with various girlfriends (Hi Shannon, Megan, Rachel, and Anna!)

• Watched a movie that I can't for the life of me remember the name of but it reminded me how much I adore the ponytail and pencil skirt. Plus it took place in New York. Starred Rachel McAdams. Will someone please teach me how to do a good ponytail? Because let's face it. It's not going away. 

• Most importantly, spent time worshipping God and being strengthened by His grace with communion. I wish we did that more often. Eating the bread and drinking the wine -- takes only a few seconds, but it's such a holy moment. If you are in the Orlando area and are looking for a church, I'd love for you to join me at UPC! I love this church. Love it. 

And now it's Monday. The end.

The Daily Casey: CSI edition

Two words: buccal swab.

The Daily Casey: the fiction edition

Trial day 19 / day 8
First, an introduction by Sir Walter Scott:

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

Here's a life lesson for you: if you lie to the wrong person, like a police officer, you will be recorded and then millions of people will hear your lies and talk about you on twitter. Also, you may go to jail for life.

Another life lesson: if your dad ever compares your family to a hand (he is the strong thumb, the mom is the index finger always pointing in the right direction, etc.), perhaps don't switch it and say your mom should be the middle finger. That's just mean.

The Daily Casey: Dick Tracy Edition

Moral of the story today, kids: it's okay to have imaginary friends, just don't testify on record to the police that an imaginary friend kidnapped your child.

Fact: The imaginary nanny - Zanny the nanny - lived very near to my house (assuming she was a real person). I google earthed it. Additional fact: remember the crazy downtown Orlando gunman? He escaped to his mom's house, just a few blocks away from my house. I think i'll have an old-fashioned neighborhood  meet and greet, so I'll know anyone else who ends up on the nightly news.

Another life lesson: If you're on the witness stand and you are testifying that you fell asleep while driving, maybe don't volunteer as your defense that it's not uncommon for you to fall asleep on that particular stretch of road.

Quote of the day: If you don't look, you'll never know. Write that one down. So the next time that someone tells you their child has been missing for a month and, oh yeah, I have a swimming pool, you best run to that pool and see if there is any evidence of foul play a month earlier. 


______________________________________
On an un-related topic, tonight I wanted to tell the Publix cashier guy that his glasses looked really good on him. Instead, I said "can you tell me about your coupon policy?"

Smooth? Or not so smooth?

The Daily Casey

I'm starting a new series around here because if there is one thing we have a shortage of, it's news about Casey Anthony.

Since we are currently on day 17 / day 6 of the trial, a re-cap.

• The trial began with a bang or a bombshell, depending on your news network of choice. The State is resting its case on a scrap of rare duct tape; the Defense its case on a bizarre twist of daddy drama and accidental drowning.

• I professed my love for Judge Belvin Perry, Jr. on Twitter, which pretty much means that if you are smart, no-nonsense, fair, and efficient, you will win my heart. Even if your name is Belvin.

• Casey's hair is incredibly long. Like, freakishly long. 

• For the love, you live in Florida. Why do you have an above ground swimming pool? Didn't we go over this already? 

• On why grandmother's should not use social media: May 28 quote of the day, "I had no idea MySpace was everybody's space." 

• Casey suffered from irregular periods, much like her mother. And now we are all just a little more uncomfortable. 

• May 31 quote of the day, "Zanny the Nanny" in triplicate.

Question to the jury (that's you): What have I missed?