Latest number of earings lost: 2. Which leaves exactly one earing to fill three holes.
Number of fires in apartment in the past two weeks: 2. Apparently it's a bad idea to turn burners on high, just to watch crusty food remains wither up. eventually, those buggers ignite.
Number of smoke detectors lying on kitchen counter, providing no help in aforementioned fires: 1. A while back, I "fixed" the beeping smoke detector....by subsequently pulling it out of the ceiling and not knowing how to put it back.