Note: based upon years of research. I am not prejudiced. You can trust this.
On Facial Features:
- Counseling students tend to have (1) large smiles or (2) perfect teeth. Best case scenario: large smile with perfect teeth. Counseling students smile a lot (through roughly 88% of the conversation). This is their way of non-verbally demonstrating that they like you, they feel your pain/satisfaction/anger/hope/hunger/cold/happiness/fear/headache, and the smile is a natural response to their personal joy in counting your 5 minute conversation toward their 6,000 hours needed to graduate.
- M.Div students don't smile at women. If the woman is single, a smile might lead her on. If the woman is married, he runs the risk of defrauding another man's wife.
- Standard attire for M.Div: khaki shorts, polo shirt (or t-shirt), running shoes or sandals. Attire reflects the youthful attitude needed for ministry these days as well as providing an easy transition to the golf course (also a ministry necessity). Running shoes bonus--provides a quick exit if a woman is spotted.
- Standard attire for counseling students: pearls (only for the women)
- The average M.Div student mentions "John Calvin", "megachurch", "quasi-emergent", and "ordination" roughly 7.4 times a day. Those looking for an immediate senior position after ordination prefer parsing Greek verbs during a conversation.
- If someone asks you to debrief a conversation, you are speaking with a counseling student.