Thursday, June 18, 2009

observations on the single life

tonight's scene: me sitting on the living room floor, surrounded by screws, random pieces of wood, nuts and washers, two phillips-head screwdrivers, and an assortment of cushions.

the final product: two chairs, one bench, and a table.

i put the entire set together by myself. no supervision. i picked out the furniture alone. paid for it alone. carried it into my home alone. and built it alone. and all that alone time gives a girl room to think. so here's a smattering of what i discovered (about myself and otherwise):
  1. some people intuitively know how things fit together. i am not one of those people. thankfully, i sat in a chair before, so i knew when i was putting it together upside down.
  2. people who write instruction manuals are idiots. subjects and verbs are beautiful additions to the english language. use them.
  3. in my world, anything unknown = requires genius level intellect and superman strength. this is the honest truth. if i don't know how to do something, i am genuinely, to the bottom of my toes, amazed when someone else does it. Which means......now that i built something from a box....sorry, men. i am no longer impressed.
  4. i turn 30 in 6 months. if my life still looks like it does today, i give you permission to stab me in both of my eyeballs. i am so not kidding.
  5. until tonight, i had forgotten about my crush on james marsden from 27 dresses. he's a writer in new york city who nearly always carries a satchel bag and rolls his sleeves. totally dreamy.
  6. just because i can carry heavy boxes and put things together doesn't mean i ever want to do this again. ever.

7 comments:

Andrea said...

Does this mean you got a new dining room table?

karin said...

No. I don't do cushions with dining room tables. You should know that! :-)

patio.

Debra said...

You are indeed hilarious!

rachel said...

i like #6 the best

scottybecca said...

Great entry! I love your writing style.

WOW-CAJ said...

You really should be a PUBLISHED writer! I bet your "how to' or technical manuals would be just hilarious!

AmandaE said...

As someone who passed the dreaded 30 mark 6 months ago, I flat out refuse to stab you in the eyes. It's not as terrible as one fears it would be...but it's not (to quote Buffy) all hugs and puppies either. In fact, it involves very few of the kinds of hugs one would like to receive and no puppies whatsoever.

wow...that sounds way more depressing that it was supposed to... oh well