Moral of the story today, kids: it's okay to have imaginary friends, just don't testify on record to the police that an imaginary friend kidnapped your child.
Fact: The imaginary nanny - Zanny the nanny - lived very near to my house (assuming she was a real person). I google earthed it. Additional fact: remember the crazy downtown Orlando gunman? He escaped to his mom's house, just a few blocks away from my house. I think i'll have an old-fashioned neighborhood meet and greet, so I'll know anyone else who ends up on the nightly news.
Another life lesson: If you're on the witness stand and you are testifying that you fell asleep while driving, maybe don't volunteer as your defense that it's not uncommon for you to fall asleep on that particular stretch of road.
Quote of the day: If you don't look, you'll never know. Write that one down. So the next time that someone tells you their child has been missing for a month and, oh yeah, I have a swimming pool, you best run to that pool and see if there is any evidence of foul play a month earlier.
On an un-related topic, tonight I wanted to tell the Publix cashier guy that his glasses looked really good on him. Instead, I said "can you tell me about your coupon policy?"
Smooth? Or not so smooth?