Sunday, July 3, 2011

The Daily Casey: the through the rabbit hole edition

For those of you living under a rock or in Kentucky, the trial of Casey Anthony is in the homestretch. The State has rested. The Defense has rested. And the entire day has been spent in closing arguments and nearly holding attorneys on both sides in contempt of court. Just another day in the ninth circuit court.

A few observations:

  • Matthew Bartlett, the 28 year old who is currently serving time in the Orange County Jail for giving an attorney the finger, should really make his doppelganger Ben Stiller. Anybody with me on this? Anyone? 
  • Speaking of Bartlett, I actually thought he was attractive until I learned he had $12 in his checking account.
  • And did anyone else have a craving for TGI Fridays all weekend long?
Back to the matter at hand. Closing arguments. In order to believe the Defense, you really have to suspend all common sense. Listening to these guys is like watching a circus. It's hilarious. Unfortunately, Florida (of which I am a native) is not known for attracting the best and the brightest. And this is why a judgment of not guilty after the incredible case the State has laid out, would be the icing on this hoop-dee-doo revue.

Okay, Cheney Mason is up. Now you get to experience a little live-blogging fun.
  • Why is he reading us a story? His voice sounds like the Colonel. I suddenly have a craving for some crispy fried chicken.
  • On the eve of our Independence Day, do not forget that a cornerstone of our judicial government is that the defendant does not have to do anything to prove her innocence. The entire burden of proof rests with the State to demonstrate guilt. If you have any doubt whatsoever, you are required to vote not guilty. (Thanks, Attorney Mason! You're helping my case). 
I can't take it anymore. This guy is killing me. 

What's your prediction? It's Florida! You can vote as many times as you want!


running shoes said...

Hey! I resemble that comment... and we have plenty of KFC for you. I can even show you where the Colonel was born and buried :)

Thank you for the update... living under a rock is so oppressive ;)

Matthaeus Flexibilis said...

I think it was Bill Maher who said the only people who end up on juries are those not smart enough to get out of jury duty.

I myself do my duty and tried -- by which I mean I answered honestly (you should have heard the excuses people gave the judge) -- to get on a jury.

~Praying Through Life~ said...

Guilty as proven by the state...

1) Duct tape isn't needed for an accidental drowning
2) She has lied about everything & to everyone
3) Accidental drownings happen all of the time in FL, why not report it?
4) Hello? The computer history?!

Also, I've learned: Jose is as mature as my 7 yr old child ("cut the cheese," "evidence FU"); George needs a major vacation; Cindy taught her daughter to lie, and I have no idea how Lee is the least bit functional!

PS. I just blogged in your comment section, lol