An open question to my male readers, particularly:
Tonight was the third experience where I have been simply intoxicated by a man's cologne. The first was in Goodwill. The second in the library. And most recently, tonight in another thrift store, Plato's Closet.
It was not the same man (don't worry, I checked).
So enamored by this scent, I found myself literally following him, just to hold on to the smell a little longer. In fact, I am the proud owner of a new jacket located directly next to where he was standing. (I officially sound like a stalker)
And so my question to you is this: Is it completely inappropriate to compliment him and even ask what cologne he is wearing? I need a line. Because otherwise, I will be forced to spend every weekend at the major department stores until I find this cologne!!
p.s. Let this be a tip for you, men. Cologne should be part of your daily wear! (not merely for special occasions). We women melt.
25 comments:
Well, I'm not sure about the level of appropriateness, but I would be kind of creeped out if some random girl came up and asked me what cologne I was wearing. But maybe that's just me... :)
Aha! And that's what has kept my mouth shut for every occurrence. Good to know.
In other news, no comment from you on the RTS posts?!?! Surely you have commentary.....
I'd like to think I'd choose the safety of the cologne counter over stalking someone in a thrift store (or most anywhere else). Go ahead: hang out at the counter!! Start with Walgreens...
Well, yes, I suppose I can comment now as I am no longer an employee of RTS. Simply put, my feelings toward the changes over there can be summed up with two letters--the ones that immediately follow 'A' and 'R'. In that order.
...in case you didn't get that, I meant that I think it is all BS.
;)
Dude, with all due respect, you're a man, right? Why would being approached by a woman who is asking you a simple question creep you out? I just don't get it - do they frighten you?
Could some men take it the wrong way, thinking you were hitting on them? Sure, absolutely. I personally wouldn't mind though. And even my wife thinks it would be flattering if a man were to ask her a similar question.
I don't see how it could be taken by most people as anything but a compliment, unless you were slobbering or trying to sniff my neck.
Not all men are keenly aware of the possibility of subtext. That is, for many men, a woman asking about his brand of cologne is merely a woman asking about his brand of cologne. To be fair, a man shouldn’t assume that anything more to the question exists.
Nevertheless, being fully man, I would wonder what prompted the question, and I might consider the question a bit forward.
The possibility certainly exists for God to grant men intuition (or, if you prefer, call it “insight” or “sensitivity to the Holy Spirit”). If a man feels uncomfortable in this situation – and I think feeling uncomfortable is among many possible legitimate responses – it’s wise for him not to ignore his feeling of being uncomfortable.
be bold! use the 'excuse me, this might be a little unusual, but..."
then segue into what you wanted to know.
sure a guy may find it unorthodox, but generally, unless the guys a jerk, he'll answer you.
All depends on:
-choice of words
-tone of voice
-body language
I'm sure you can make it VERY creepy, or very UN-creepy. Ha.
P.S. Are you planning on using this irresistible cologne as air freshener OR on yourself, once you find it after searching endlessly at all major department stores?! ;)
Okay, if a girl does it in the way that 'running shoes' suggests, then it wouldn't be creepy. But just randomly coming up to a person and asking, that would be a bit strange.
And yes, Michael, I am a man, and a married man, but I'm just not one to necessarily go for those kinds of exchanges. Take that for what its worth.
Just tell him you're looking for a new perfume and you love the kind he's wearing :)
ditto to sheldon & running shoes. i've actually asked before... the guy is usually like, "umm... cologne? i don't know. am i wearing cologne?" umm...yeah. :)
Just an FYI,
It may actually be deodorant.
Seriously.
ask away...i don't care. a girl i worked with once asked me what cologne i was wearing. then when i told her (Cool Water) she told me she loved it and i can't wear it around her anymore. (controooooooling.)
Yeah, I bet it is deodorant. That stuff can be really strong. Do you think that it would be creepy to ask to sniff a random guy's pits, you know, just to find out where the smell is coming from?
I misread and thought that your title was "Men smell."
oooo! what if it is deodorant? or that other stuff- i think it's called axe- it's kind of like a men's body/ deo. spray.
i still think you should ask! and hey-if it ends up being deodorant it will make for a great follow up blog.
I understand Axe makes some stuff that smells like chocolate. Did he smell like chocolate? That would help narrow it down. (Then again... would any guy really want to smell like chocolate?)
And for what it's worth... I think I'd feel pretty awkward asking a random guy about his cologne too. I'm sure it could be done in a non-creepy way, but still...
1) its true - we melt
2) i'd ask (in most circumstances...)
3) john - cool water is a great smell! hence the reason it is also one of my smells (the girl version)...hence the reason you cannot wear it around me either :)
As a girl who similarly would stand a slightly-too-long time next to a great smelling man, I understand the dilemma. I have, on occasion done the shy smile and sweetness approach of, "I hate to bother you, but your cologne smells really great. Do you mind if I ask what kind it is?" Usually the men seem pretty flattered that a woman would notice. After all, that is why they are wearing it right?
Excellent point, Cindy.
Rachel and John both wear Cool Water?!?! How can this be?? I have personally gone with Rachel to purchase it at Target, so John, this blows your "I wear high end department store cologne" cover right out the window.
cool water - high end department store? actually they do often have it in those places...but also at target. which is also why it only costs less than $30. and also why its my daily perfume while i save my real 'high end department store' stuff for more specific occasions :)
ps - karin you've tied me in number of comments!!!
I'd say just ask. you'll probably never see him again. So if you feel stupid just remember that. then you'll know the name of the cologne and not obsess trying to figure out what it is.
hello,
you don't know me, Thad Hoskins sent me a link to your blog a while back and I have thoroughly enjoyed each reading!
and on this post I just had to comment... Because I have been wondering that very question lately! so thank you for asking it. :-)
All right, Karin, I have to confess I’m a little disappointed. After all, you’ve called me out more than once before on your blog. I thought for sure by now you’d have directed your faithful readership’s attention to the story you inspired. At this rate, if it turns into a major motion picture, you won’t receive any royalties.
Hi Melissa! I'm glad you're reading. I'll be sure to give a German shout-out every now and then. Tell Thad hi for me!
As for you, David. Well.....just you wait.
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